


the spy who married me

by plain_and_simple_tailor (ectogeo)



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Related, Episode: s04e10 Our Man Bashir, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genetic Engineering, M/M, Mutual Pining, Our Man Bashir AU, POV Julian Bashir, and angsty mutual pining and self-doubt, friends to fake married to lovers, it's equal parts ooey gooey sappy silliness, these disaster boys just have a lot of latent angst that i cannot ignore completely haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ectogeo/pseuds/plain_and_simple_tailor
Summary: “Eddington to Bashir and Garak. It’s taking longer than we thought. You’ll have to stall for another 10 minutes or so.”Ten more minutes! Julian had been about to deliver a final snappy one-liner and press the big red button, but now they needed another much longer delay. He cast around in his mind but he was completely out of ideas. He threw a pleading look at Garak...Our Man Bashir AU where Julian and Garak need to quickly come up with a new way to stall. Garak decides to follow Julian’s lead and kiss his way out of this mess!!!(Part of the Star Trek Just In Time fest)
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 31
Kudos: 136
Collections: Star Trek: Just in Time Fest





	the spy who married me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm submitting this to the Star Trek Just In Time fest, but the ONLY way this is related to the theme of time is that the setup for this sappy mutual pining fake wedding fic involves running out of time/stalling for time, hahaha
> 
> Because this is Our Man Bashir, the title is a riff on the title of a James Bond movie, The Spy Who Loved Me

SISKO: You make a very interesting argument, Mister Bashir. But I'm afraid I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time.

BASHIR: You need to move beyond that. You need to start thinking about your new world order. You may even need someone like me.

(Bashir has moved near the control console)

SISKO: If you think that by going over there you are going to destroy my control console, you're wasting your time.

*

_“Eddington to Bashir and Garak. It’s taking longer than we thought. You’ll have to stall for another 10 minutes or so.”_

Ten more minutes! Julian had been about to deliver a final snappy one-liner and press the big red button, but now they needed another much longer delay. He cast around in his mind but he was completely out of ideas. He threw a pleading look at Garak.

“Doctor,” Garak said, and Dr. Noah turned around to look at him. “Before you end the world and kill us both, Mr. Bashir and I have a favor to ask.”

“You are in no position to make demands, Mister...?”

“Garak. I do realize that. This is merely a humble final request. You see, Mr. Bashir and I are engaged to be married in a few months, but if we are to die today... I’d like to reschedule our wedding to right now.”

Julian’s mouth fell open.

Dr. Noah scoffed. “You can’t seriously expect me to allow this.”

“Esteemed Dr. Noah. Please. You’ve won. We can’t stop you. You know that. So kill us and build your new world. But... I love him, and I can’t bear the thought of dying before we are wed. All I ask is that you allow us to exchange our marriage vows and share one final kiss. Allow us the small mercy of a farce of a wedding before we die.”

Julian’s heart pounded.

_He said he loves me! Where did that even come from? Does he mean it? No, keep a hold of yourself, it’s just a performance..._

_Our first kiss!!! Our final kiss..._

_What would I even say if I had to make wedding vows to Garak right now?_

“I don’t see any rings,” said Dr. Noah, skeptical, but clearly somewhat intrigued or amused by the strange request, otherwise he would have gone ahead and killed them already.

“Surely you can understand. Agent Bashir has many enemies. He can ill afford to advertise our love... I am his greatest weakness,” Garak explained patiently, while holding Julian’s gaze. The way he was looking at him was so full of longing that Julian was overwhelmed and wanted to look away, but instead he tried to match his energy by pouring just as much longing into his own expression.

“Not to mention,” Julian added, “seducing women would be a much less effective strategy for escaping death lasers if it was widely known that I am happily taken.” He glanced pointedly toward Honey Bare, who glared back at him, with a sting he registered even though she was just a holo character. “Please, Dr. Noah, take whatever precautions you feel are necessary, but give us a few moments to profess our love for each other. We’ve had to keep it hidden for so long...”

“Dr. Noah, don’t trust them. This has to be some kind of trick,” said Falcon.

“Of course it’s a trick!” Dr. Noah waved his hand at Falcon dismissively, the corners of his lips curling. “But I think I want to see this play out. I want to see these two desperate fools pretend to be in love with each other just to get me to spare their lives for a few extra minutes. And if during their performance I become unconvinced of their sincerity, well, I may just have to kill a hostage or two.”

*

Dr. Noah was very pleased with his setup.

One of the couches had been turned to face the large windows with the view overlooking the Himalayas. The wedding guests/hostages, Anastasia and Honey Bare, were seated on opposite ends of the couch, each bound securely in place.

Julian and Garak were handcuffed together, facing each other, Garak’s right wrist chained to Julian’s left, and vice versa. Duchamps stood behind Garak, and Falcon behind Julian. Falcon and Duchamps held guns against their backs. (Julian had often thought that O’Brien would be his best man at his wedding, but not like this...)

Dr. Noah took the position of the wedding officiant.

“You may begin.”

“My dear d— Julian. You are the love of my life, my light in the darkness, my one source of warmth in a cold, cruel universe...”

For a moment, Julian forgot what they were doing, forgot it wasn’t real, and lost himself in the delight of hearing Garak’s poetic declarations, and the sound of his own name on Garak’s lips. He knew he really should have been thinking about what he would say when it was his turn, but he couldn’t help but greedily record every word that Garak spoke, and then dreamily turn each phrase over and over again in his mind like the pages in a favorite book...

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Falcon groaned. “This is unbearable. Get on with it.” He jabbed his gun hard into the middle of Julian’s back as he gesticulated, making Julian stumble a half-step forward.

Julian looked at Garak and tried to communicate, _Don’t worry,_ _I’m fine, keep going_ , with just his eyes. Garak’s own eyes were wide with apparent concern, but he carried on.

“When I planned out what I would say to you on our wedding day, I can’t say that I expected these to be the circumstances. Now I have one last chance to tell you everything I ever wanted you to hear. And... I’m not sure how to even begin. I wanted to promise you so many things. I wanted to say that I would love you every day for the rest of our lives, but knowing we’ll be dead in minutes has made that seem not quite as romantic anymore...” He smiled sadly. “I suppose I can’t make promises for our future, I can only offer affirmations of our past.

“My dear—my _dearest_ —Julian... My exile was once a punishment but it became a blessing, because of you. Your unconditional kindness and fierce optimism and sharp wit are unmatched in all of existence. Your beauty is a splendid rarity. I’m so grateful for every sight of your lovely smile, especially for those moments when I’ve been the one to bring that smile to your lips.”

Julian exhaled in delight and gave him the biggest, brightest smile he could manage. Garak had to only be saying all of this because he was trying to stall for as long as possible so they would have a chance of being rescued. Weaving such beautiful lies out of thin air was well within Garak’s capabilities. But if only just a little bit of it could be true! The most plausible lies were the ones that had some truth in them, right? But that was perhaps wishful thinking.

“You already know very well that I love you, my dear,” Garak continued, “but you don’t know just how long I’ve loved you. I must admit that I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I first saw you, since our very first conversation, when you sat across the table from me and swatted the drooping flowers out of your face and looked at me like I was the most intriguing person you’d ever met.”

Julian remembered it too. The energy between them had been electric and enchanting, and Julian had felt he would explode if he didn’t immediately tell someone about the fascinating encounter. As soon as Garak had left, he’d practically run to Ops to let the senior staff know that Garak—the spy!!—had just talked to him! But none of them had seemed to really understand how exciting it was...

“And I think I’ve _loved_ you ever since you read the entirety of _The Never-Ending Sacrifice_ , despite hating every sentence of it. That’s when I knew that you would do anything for me. That’s when my cold heart first truly warmed, and I knew you were mine and I was yours. I would make any sacrifice for _you_.”

Julian couldn’t hold Garak’s gaze any longer, and he studied the floor, overwhelmed. Garak saying that he loved him made every synapse fire with warmth and joy! But Garak saying that he’d make any sacrifice for him stabbed like a traitor’s knife in light of the kind of sacrifice Julian had been willing to risk mere minutes ago.

Julian had relied on his perfect, enhanced aim, and he had been absolutely certain that a grazing blow across the neck ridges wouldn’t kill Garak, but... if the medical information he had once received from Tain about Cardassians was inaccurate... or if Garak had moved unexpectedly at the last second... things would have ended very differently.

And Garak had no way of knowing that Julian _hadn’t_ actually been trying to kill him. Yet for some reason instead of being angry at Julian for shooting him, which would have been entirely reasonable, Garak seemed to whole-heartedly approve of Julian’s actions, and that somehow cut deeper than anything.

Yes, Garak had forced him into the impossible position of making a terrible choice between Garak and the crew, but Julian was still the only one responsible for the choice he’d ultimately made. Julian had figured he was going to have to spend a lot of time regaining Garak’s trust after shooting him, but instead he seemed to have already won it. It made him wish Garak valued his own life more.

“I am just sorry I waited so many years before I told you that I love you...” Garak brought his hand up to caress Julian’s cheek, and Julian’s hand was pulled up along with it by the handcuffs connecting their wrists. Julian leaned into the touch, and placed his hand over Garak’s, and managed to lift his eyes finally to meet Garak’s gaze again. “We should have had so much more time together.” They let their hands drop down again, but clasped them together.

Anastasia sighed sadly, a hand to her heart. Honey Bare’s glasses were blurred by the tears running off her lashes. Julian was unsure whether her tears indicated her feelings about their tragic doomed romance, her regret that she had freed them from the laser, or simply the sheer terror of knowing her life currently depended on the volatile whims of Dr. Noah and two absolute fools pretending to be in love.

Julian blinked away the hot, stinging beginnings of his own tears. Had Garak just come up with all of that incredibly romantic backstory about their relationship on the spot? He was including very specific details from their lives... What if Garak _meant_ it?

Had it been foolish to assume that Garak couldn’t or wouldn’t return his affections?? Why had he always assumed that Garak’s flirtation didn’t mean anything? Well, he supposed he knew why... It was hard to trust a liar, and it was harder still to entertain the notion that someone might want to be with him, with an augmented freak of nature, for life. The idea that Garak couldn’t possibly want a serious relationship with him was easier than the truth, which was that Garak would quickly figure out his darkest secret if they were together, and that would spell the end of that. His genetic augmentation status would either drive Garak away or perhaps Julian would cut and run, like he always did, to avoid inevitable discovery. After all, he’d run away from Palis when she had gotten too close to the truth. He hadn’t even tried for another serious relationship since then, instead flitting from fling to fling. It was safer, better for everyone concerned, that way. And Garak couldn’t possibly be just a ‘fling’ for him.

Garak’s final vow had stirred the wild, impossible longing for the years they might have had together, if only Julian could afford to be truly known...

No, it was beyond foolish to think of anything about this scenario as real. But... maybe it was okay for him to just pretend that Garak loved him. Just for now. Just until they survived this situation (or didn’t).

“Well, what do you think of Mr. Garak’s little performance, Duchamps?” Dr. Noah asked, interrupting Julian’s spiraling thoughts.

“I think he is certainly in love with being alive. And with the sound of his own voice,” Duchamps growled from where he stood behind Garak.

Dr. Noah smirked and then turned. “Falcon?”

“I don’t care about any of this. Can we just kill them now? Or can we at least kill one of the treacherous ladies over there?”

“Falcon, I, don’t, like, that, attitude,” Dr. Noah said dangerously, speaking in a quick patter with strange emphasis, each word separated by the slightest pause. “You’ll follow my orders to the letter, or I will kill you in a heartbeat. You _will_ watch their little play, and you _will_ answer any questions I ask of you.”

“Fine. Well, they are clearly in love and it’s fucking disgusting.”

Dr. Noah hummed in amusement. “You sound a bit jealous to me! You didn’t realize Agent Bashir was in a committed relationship.... You thought you were the only man in his life, didn’t you, Falcon?”

Anastasia snorted, but quickly passed it off as an innocent cough.

Falcon spluttered. “I just want to be the one to KILL him! Not marry him!”

“Of course. Well, _I_ am still entertained by this charade, and that’s all that matters, so let’s hear your wedding vows, Mr. Bashir.”

Julian’s throat was dry. The lives of Kira, Jadzia, Miles, Sisko, Worf, Garak, and himself all relied on his ability to trick a violent and capricious holo character into thinking he was in love with Garak. I mean, he was of course in love with Garak, that wasn’t the problem, but how was he supposed to admit that aloud for the first time when his brain wasn’t working and his mouth felt like it was full of sand?

He enjoyed saving people in the medical sense, curing them of their physical injuries and ailments, and he always knew what to do in the operating room. But it was quite scary trying to save people with only his words and the love burning brightly in his heart.

He didn’t know whether to try to be genuine (and risk alienating his dearest friend if Garak’s confessions had only been for show) or to find some way to lie (and risk all of their lives if Dr. Noah sensed his duplicity).

He tried to remember everything Garak had ever told him about lying successfully. Mention a handful of details to make the story more believable but be sure to leave some parts vague or it will seem too prepared. Never tell the same lie twice. Telling people the kind of lie that they want to hear can help them accept it more easily. Use the truth to lie whenever possible.

He supposed it was probably best to stick close to the truth, no matter how mortifying that might prove to be. (After all, the only lie he’d ever been any good at telling was the one he’d told every day of his life, the one he wanted to believe so badly he nearly even convinced himself sometimes: the lie that he was normal.)

He knew he should start with the basics... What to even call Garak? Continue on with ‘Garak’? Call him Elim (because he really should be on a first-name basis with his husband-to-be)? No, no, perhaps ‘Garak.’ It would be bad for anyone in Ops to accidentally overhear ‘Elim’. Julian briefly considered an invented name, some faked salutation that the holo characters would have no way to verify. But no, Garak declaring his love for him was too perfect and precious a moment, and he couldn’t bring himself to mar it by calling Garak by some made-up name, as that would be too stark a reminder that it’s! not! real!

Well, whatever he decided, he would have to choose quickly. Falcon was getting antsy again. He felt the pressure of Falcon’s hand on his shoulder and the gun at his back.

“My love... My sweet Edosian orchid blossom...” he started uncertainly.

He was glad Garak had gone first, so he could just copy the structure of his speech: paint a lovely picture about the future that had been stolen from them, reminisce about how he fell in love, and ramble for as long as he could about all the things he loved about Garak...

“I’ve also been waiting for this day for so long, and, yes, I honestly didn’t expect it to go quite like this either. I pictured... a destination wedding. Somewhere warm. Far away from all of our enemies, with only a few of our closest friends. I pictured myself intentionally wrinkling the collar of my shirt so that you would fuss over it and smooth it out until it was just perfect. I imagined a day full of laughter followed by a lifetime of love.

“I don’t _know_ precisely when I fell in love with you. It happened slowly over a long time, so incremental that I didn’t even notice until our lives were so inextricably intertwined, and it felt like I had always loved you.” It felt good to say it, even if Garak might not know he was telling the truth. “Being with you always feels natural, comfortable. Like I’ve finally found my home.

“My dear tailor, I love your creativity and diligence. The results of your craft are stunning without exception, and I’m sure our wedding outfits would have been absolutely spectacular. But, of course, you are impossibly handsome no matter what you’re wearing! I love the devotion you show to your people. I love that you always listen to me, and care about what I’m saying even— _especially_ —when we disagree. I adore the sound of your voice, and the stories you tell me, and also all the details you deliberately leave out so I can solve your puzzles myself. You mystify me, and confound me, and fascinate me, and delight me, and always leave me wanting more, and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Garak was not nearly as composed as usual. He looked completely stunned, completely at a loss for words. Julian hoped he hadn’t just ruined their friendship forever by being too honest about his feelings.

“May I kiss him now?” Julian tentatively asked Dr. Noah.

“Go ahead. Make it a good one, as it’ll be your last,” Dr. Noah said ominously, while casually checking that his gun was loaded.

Julian swallowed nervously and turned back to Garak, trying not to think about the fact that they were once again running out of time to be rescued.

They locked eyes for a moment and then Julian leaned in slowly, sticking his chin out, pursing his lips, and letting his eyelids fall half-closed. He hoped this part would be okay with Garak... then he remembered that Garak was the one who’d suggested the wedding in the first place. And he had to know that human weddings involved kissing, right? That had surely come up in some of their reading...

Their lips brushed, and then glanced off of each other because Julian had gotten distracted while scanning his memories of their reading list for wedding references. Of all Julian’s kisses today, this was the one he’d wanted the most, and he was messing it up! Julian adjusted his angle and they connected much better.

Julian marveled at the coolness of his lips. Julian felt extremely warm at the moment, so he pressed in closer, wanting to share his heat with Garak.

His head spun from the sudden sensation of Garak’s tongue running over his lip. He was sure that the comfortingly firm grip of Garak’s hand on his hip was probably all that was preventing him from detaching from the station’s artificial gravity and spinning off into space.

The kiss had now lasted much longer than it should have. But Ops still hadn’t beamed out the senior staff, and they were trying to stall for time after all. Besides, the way that Garak’s throat rumbled with needy little hums when Julian sucked on his lower lip was intoxicating. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

“All right, that’s enough. You’ve had your final kiss, and now it’s time for you to die. But hmmm, which of you shall I kill first?” He cocked his gun. “Which of you is more in love with the other? Which of you will suffer more upon seeing your partner die?” Dr. Noah said with a villainous smile.

Julian appreciated that it was truly very lucky for everyone involved that Dr. Noah had been programmed to draw out the death of the hero and make it as dramatic as possible, in keeping with the tropes of the source material.

But despite the fact that their luck wouldn’t last forever, Julian ignored Dr. Noah completely and kept kissing Garak, desperately. Julian didn’t want to stop. He knew they’d already done everything they could to save the senior staff and save each other. He didn’t want to die but if this really was going to be the end then he at least wanted to stay locked in Garak’s embrace for the rest of his life. There was no point in denying themselves these last few pleasurable moments.

“Gentlemen, I’ve grown tired of this game. If you won't choose, then I’ll choose for you. Say goodbye to your new husband, Agent Bashir. But don’t worry, you won’t be apart for long...”

Dr. Noah extended his arm, aiming his gun at Garak’s head, point blank. Julian wrenched Garak out of Duchamps’ grip and swiveled him around, positioning himself in between Dr. Noah and Garak, shielding Garak with his own body.

Before Dr. Noah or his cronies could react, everyone involved in the transporter malfunction was suddenly beamed out of the holosuite, leaving only Julian and Garak behind.

They were breathing hard, adrenaline still pumping, still literally and figuratively locked in their embrace. One of them had the good sense to gasp a request for the computer to unlock the handcuffs, and both sets clicked open and fell to the floor. Newly unrestrained, they stepped even closer and wrapped their arms around each other and soon their lips were on each other again. One of Julian’s legs slid in between Garak’s. One of Garak’s hands entangled itself in Julian’s hair.

“ _Ops to Bashir. The senior officers are all okay!_ ”

Julian was relieved to hear that of course but, since it seemed like everything was fine, he didn’t bother to respond. His mouth was far too busy at the moment. And... he was afraid if he pulled away, the ruse would finally be over. Garak would stop taking pity and humoring Julian’s obvious crush on him, and they would go back to being friends. The euphoria of saving the day and surviving a near-death experience together would wear off, and Garak would lose interest in kissing him. He was afraid that even opening his eyes would be enough to wake him from this wonderful, but unrealistic dream where Garak wanted him— _loved_ him!

“ _Ops to Bashir, please respond and acknowledge you’re all right..._ ”

Julian pulled his head back reluctantly and broke off the kiss. Garak maintained a small gap between them but followed him forward, as though their mouths were connected by a line of invisible thread, as though perhaps he had been enjoying the kiss as much as Julian and was just as eager not to let it end... Julian’s heart swelled, and a goofy grin broke out on his face, and he rested a finger on Garak’s lips as a promise he’d be back in a moment.

He used his other hand to fish his combadge out of one of his suit pockets and activate it. He narrowly resisted the urge to say something like, _“_ Please go away, we’re on our honeymoon! _”_

“Bashir to Ops! Yes, we’re all right!” Julian replied instead, slightly out of breath, while Garak sweetly kissed down his fingers and into the palm of his hand. “We’re definitely all right!”

“ _You are cleared to shut down the program any time now._ ”

“Acknowledged! We’ll shut it down soon. We just”—Julian inhaled softly as Garak slipped one of his fingers into his mouth and sucked on it teasingly—“just have a couple of things to finish up in here! Nothing to worry about though! Bashir out.”

Julian made sure his status was set to off-duty, and put away the combadge.

When he went to pull Garak back into a kiss, Julian’s hand grazed the side of his neck, and Garak hissed and recoiled in pain.

“Oh, Garak... I’m sorry, I forgot, I—”

“It’s just... a little sensitive there.”

“We need to get you to the infirmary. I’m sure I can heal this without leaving a scar...”

“You would so unceremoniously erase the proof that you are willing to make deep personal sacrifices for the greater good? I think not.” His hand was covering his neck protectively.

“Um, all right... but I’ll at least need to clean out the wound so it won’t get infected.”

Garak nodded.

“I’m glad I didn’t...” He couldn’t say it. “I’m immensely glad that you’re still alive, Garak.”

“As am I.”

“Well, thank you for trusting me to get us out of this... and then for coming to my rescue when I ran out of ideas...”

“Thank you for coming to my rescue too. Although please do not put yourself in danger like that to protect _me_ ever again, my dear.”

“Hmm, no promises! By the way, how did you even come up with this wedding idea?” Julian asked, holding his breath for the answer.

“Why, I learned it from you, of course. This whole holoprogram has involved you kissing your way out of every mess, so I thought I would give your strategy a try. It worked very well, don’t you agree?”

“Oh, yes!” Julian said too eagerly, and Garak raised an eye ridge in amusement. “Oh, you have no grounds to be so smug. I think you truly expected there was a chance we were going to die, and I think you just didn’t want to die without having kissed me. I think you meant every word you said. It’s very flattering, really.”

“Well, did _you_ mean what _you_ said?” Garak equivocated, somehow keeping his voice exactly halfway between hopeful and sarcastic so that his question could take on different meanings depending on Julian’s answer.

“Hmm, well, I said a lot of things. Which part did you want to know about specifically?” Julian said, grinning.

“What about _this_ part...” And Garak pulled him into another kiss.

“Mmm, yes, I definitely meant that part.”

They drew each other close, and kissed again and again, bodies knitting together. Julian loved the way they fit. They ground against each other, panting and sighing for more.

Garak started untucking and unbuttoning Julian’s shirt, and the rush of cool air on his skin seemed to cruelly remind Julian that they shouldn’t go farther now.

“Garak,” Julian giggled, catching Garak’s hands. “We gotta stop!”

“My apologies, I thought...”

Julian rubbed his thumbs over the backs of Garak’s hands reassuringly.

“I _want_ you to undress me, believe me, just... not right now. I’m sure I’ll be expected in ops for a debriefing any minute now, and I ought to run some tests on the senior staff to make sure they’re not experiencing any medical complications from being trapped in the transporter buffer for so long, and then I’ll have to write up an incident report...”

Garak looked worried. “How much of”—he gestured between the two of them—“ _this_ are you going to put in your report?”

“Well, I’m supposed to write down everything I can remember... and I do have a very good memory,” Julian said suggestively. “Why? Do you not want Starfleet Intelligence to think that Elim Garak, fearsome Obsidian Order spy, is really just a hopeless romantic?”

“It’s advantageous to be underestimated.”

“Well, all right, so I suppose if you prefer to be underestimated, then you _don’t_ want me to update your official dossier to reflect how excellent a kisser you are?” Julian teased.

Garak smiled weakly, but wouldn’t look at him.

“Hey... what’s wrong, Garak?” Julian didn’t know what he’d done to upset him. “Are you... ashamed to be with me?”

“My dear, it’s been my wish for years to be with you...”

“Then... what?”

“I suppose I’m afraid to become just another of your catalogued infamous _flings._ ”

“Garak, look at me. I love you. I mean it, I truly love you. I meant everything I said in our fake wedding. Against all reasoning and common sense, you are the man of my dreams!” Julian bit his lip. “But, um, honestly, I’m also terrified that any second now you’ll realize _you_ don’t want _me_.”

Garak scoffed. “Julian, you are the most attractive and desirable person on the station, as evidenced by the fact that you have a new suitor almost every week. How could you possibly think I would ever reject you?”

“I know that I’m _attractive,_ but... most people I date can’t actually stand to be around me for very long. Like you said, they usually get sick of me within a week.”

“Then you’ve only been dating people with appalling taste.”

“I’ve been dating people who can’t break my heart by inevitably leaving,” Julian said bitterly. “And I never pursued _you_ because I didn’t want to drive you away too. I know I’m kind of a lot to deal with, and I’m not sure I can handle losing you. Loving you from a distance hurts. Losing you would hurt so much more, Garak...”

He stopped himself. He wasn’t ready to tell Garak about his genetic enhancements but, if he kept dancing around the edges of it like this, it would surely slip out. So he took a deep breath and plunged ahead with a different set of reckless confessions. “My first engagement was kind of a disaster, partially because I rushed into it”— _and then rushed right out of it again_ , Julian thought—“so, um, I probably _shouldn’t_ rush into these declarations of undying love, but... I’ve always been comforted by the idea that we’ll still be eating lunch with each other decades from now. We’ll never run out of books to read together, or things to talk about, or experiences to share... I can see myself growing old with you. Everything else around us might change, _we_ might change, but we’ll still be together.” He interlaced their fingers and squeezed Garak’s hands. “That’s... that’s what I like to dream about anyway. So, um, I hope you are willing to try dating me, even though we’re both scared out of our minds about it apparently.”

“Julian—”

“Not to get off-subject,” Julian interrupted, “but no matter _what,_ you’d better keep calling me Julian, because I absolutely love to hear you say my name. Okay, go ahead.”

Garak smiled. “Julian, you don’t have to worry about driving me away. I already know everything I need to know about you.”

“So... you don’t find me even a little bit mysterious?” Julian fought to keep a note of hypocritical disappointment out of his tone. (Wasn’t Garak just a _little_ curious about him, considering the scope of the secret he had been living for so many years?)

“Ah, you misunderstand... Believe me, my dear, you are far more puzzling than the most elaborate enigma tale, and I would delight at the chance to spend the rest of my life trying to unravel the inner workings of your captivating mind. What I meant is that I am fairly confident that I know you well enough by now that there’s nothing you could tell me about yourself that would make me love you less.”

Julian smiled and blinked as his eyes grew watery. He desperately wanted to tell Garak everything about himself, right now. The secret wanted out. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the hardest to contain. What made this time different was that Garak’s words, suddenly, impossibly, felt _true_. Julian Bashir would stake his life on the promise that Garak would never recoil from him in disgust over a _pesky little detail_ (Julian could just imagine Garak describing it just so) like genetic enhancement.

Julian breathed in, and fought to swallow the latent confession back down—for once not out of fear of rejection, but simply because it wasn’t a convenient time to talk about it. It would be the right moment soon, and he took comfort in that.

“So, are we...? Do you want to try... a relationship? With me?” Julian could barely get the words out.

“A relationship with you would easily make me the happiest Cardassian alive, my dear.”

Julian kissed him again, short and sweet, and then they rested their foreheads together for a moment that seemed to last forever.

Julian pulled away. “Computer, end program.” Dr. Noah’s Everest hideout faded away, leaving them standing in the empty holosuite. Julian let go of Garak, and went over to a wall panel that flipped down to form a shelf with an emergency first aid kit on it. “Come over here, I’ll clean your wound now so you don’t have to go to the infirmary, all right?”

There was no point in rushing Garak into medical treatment. As he waited, Julian got out the alcohol wipes, sterile gauze, and disinfectant gel, and loaded a hypospray with a painkiller.

Garak hesitated for another moment and then came over and let Julian clean him up and bandage him.

“All right, now that I’ve taken care of you... do _I_ look presentable?” Julian ran a hand through his own hair to check if it was messed up from Garak’s tousling.

Garak adjusted Julian’s shirt slightly, then smoothed it out, and Julian thrilled at those hands running firmly over his chest. “You look perfectly composed, my dear.”

“I’ll drop by your quarters as soon as I’m done with everything, I promise.”

“Good, it wouldn’t do for you to be late for dinner... my dear husband,” Garak said playfully.

Julian laughed, and his heart soared. “I wouldn’t dream of being late, my dear Mr. Elim Bashir. Besides, there are certain plot threads of our _wedding night_ that are yet to be properly explored...”

“Surely you are referring to the Cardassian tradition of spending the wedding night in solemn study, exhaustively sharing genealogy between partners to update family records promptly. We generally only record the previous ten generations, and only keep track of _immediate_ family up to cousins thrice-removed, but since you’re so very eager, we can always delve even deeper—”

Julian failed to hold back a snort. “You _know_ what I meant.”

And there was that trademark innocent blink, so utterly and delightfully Garak. “Oh dear, I’m afraid I have absolutely no idea. You’ll have to explain it to me... Or maybe even show me...” 

“You really are infuriatingly obtuse sometimes, you know?”

“Yes, I know. And apparently, for some strange reason, you love me for it.”

“Yeah...” Julian sighed happily, “I really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> And then Julian wrote an extremely thorough incident report after all, and Odo, Sisko, and Miles were forced to read all about their sappy, sloppy love confessions! The end!
> 
> Thanks to [Primal_Nexus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Primal_Nexus/pseuds/Primal_Nexus) for beta reading and helping to make my writing infinitely better!
> 
> Thanks also to kukalakas/theoak, who helped me brainstorm the premise for this fic back in like October or something haha!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!! <3


End file.
